


Changes

by nanuk_dain



Series: Impossible Relationships [22]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-05-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 23:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanuk_dain/pseuds/nanuk_dain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An early morning conversation about the past and the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place right after 'Homecoming', the morning after, basically. I hope you enjoy this wee ficlet! I deliver it to you form Edmonton, Canada, and I'm sorry it took so long but in Jasper, where I stayed last, I didn't have internet access (it was 7 klicks – one way - to walk from my hostel to the nearest internet access, and then my Blackberry was all bitchy and didn't want to connect... XD).

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/nanuk_dain/pic/000be3gq)

It was early, the sun had just begun to rise above the horizon and the light in the bedroom held the faintness typical for the early morning. Ray was propped on his elbow, a little frown on his face while his fingers trailed over Tim's face, just a hair's breadth from touching.

Ray looked down at Tim whose eye were closed, his face relaxed in sleep. There were lines around his eyes, his mouth and on his forehead that hadn't been there when he'd left for his second tour in Iraq. The shadows under his eyes were so dark they were almost black and he looked downright exhausted. Ray knew it was the look they all had when they came back from deployment, but he'd never really _seen_ it because it had developed when he'd been there and he hadn't noticed. He'd never been faced with the difference it made when you weren't around when the exhaustion and the bad food slowly drained the body, when all you remembered was what somebody looked like healthy and well before they left, and exhausted and drained when they came back. 

Ray gnawed on his bottom lip while his finger gently, almost without touching, passed over the lines that had etched into the skin of Tim's forehead. Frown lines, lines of worry, of concern, of anger. He didn't like what this tour had done to Tim, didn't like it at all. Something had changed, Ray could feel it although Tim hadn't said a word yet. They'd just gone to bed after their shower activities and Tim had wrapped around Ray as tightly as he could, arms and legs and all, and had buried his nose against Ray's neck. There had been a comfort in the familiarity of his touch that Ray had almost forgotten, and he'd slept better than he had in months. 

Ray sighed and bent down to press a lingering kiss to Tim's temple. "I don't think I can go through another deployment." He whispered against the soft skin and closed his eyes.

"You won't have to." Tim replied quietly, his voice sleepy and rough, and he startled Ray so much that he actually flinched. He hadn't expected Tim to be awake, hadn't expected him to feel his touch or hear his words.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Ray pressed another kiss to Tim's temple in excuse. He knew how important sleep was right after a deployment.

"Don't mind." Tim's hand came to rest on Ray's waist and he turned so that he could snuggle closer, touching his nose against Ray's neck, never opening his eyes. His lips found the soft skin of Ray's throat in a lazy kiss. "'m happy where I am."

Ray chuckled and let his hands card through Tim's short hair. "Same here."

They fell silent again, Ray never ceasing his slow caress, and Tim's hands almost lazily passed over the skin of Ray's waist. It was peaceful and relaxed in the way only a very early morning can be, and Ray wondered how he'd managed to live through those 156 mornings without Tim. That brought him back to what Tim had said when he'd woken up.

"What did you mean when you said that we wouldn't have to go through another deployment?" Ray asked quietly. He'd almost forgotten the words over his surprise that Tim was awake.

"I came to the decision to quit. I want to help people, I don't want to fuck up their lives." Tim murmured against Ray's neck. "I'm thinking about signing up with a humanitarian organisation. Red Cross, Médecins Sans Frontières, something like that."

Ray just nodded while he tried to process what Tim had just said. What it would mean for them that they were both out of the military, no longer bound to the rules that had forced them to hide and keep up a front to protect their life, their careers, their relationship. It was huge, and for a moment, Ray was absolutely overwhelmed. 

He'd never expected Tim to voluntarily leave the forces, but he had no doubt that something must have happened, something really bad, that had made Tim come to this decision. So Ray just asked quietly, wondering if he was going to get an answer. "What happened?"

Tim was silent for a long time, and only his uneven breath against the skin of Ray's neck told him that Tim hadn't gone back to sleep. "Same as usual. We fucked up."

Ray kept quiet. He knew Tim well enough to know that there was more to come and that he would talk eventually, on his own time. Silence fell again and Ray concentrated on the feel of Tim's hair under his fingertips.

"One of the men shot a little girl." Tim murmured against his neck after a long time. "I almost snapped his neck. Rudy had to pull me back."

There was another long stretch of silence before Tim went on. "I had your disgusting candy-coffee that night." He gave a chuckle, but it sounded rough and raw rather than amused. "I think I might actually like it."

Tim took a deep breath and Ray felt him cuddle closer. "Thank you for hiding those M&Ms in my socks."

"You're welcome." Ray murmured against the skin of Tim temple. "I thought you might need them."

"You were right." Tim admitted quietly. "I did."

When they fell silent this time, it was comfortable. Ray's hands played lazily with the thick strands of Tim's hair, knowing it relaxed him like nothing else could. He felt the precise moment when Tim fell asleep again, and with a little smile, Ray closed his eyes to doze for a while. 

When Tim woke up again about an hour later, Ray gently bit his earlobe. "Soooo, once you're out of the Navy, can I give up my apartment and officially move in with you?"

Tim chuckled sleepily against Ray's collarbone. "Yeah, Josh, you can."


End file.
